Life is what you make it

Life is what you make it. While at a music festival this summer, I heard Justin McRoberts speak about “No Conflict, No Story”, letting go of the way things were supposed to be. He provided the insight that 3 stages take place at various times in our lives. The first is Orientation, where things are going as planned, our goals have been met, and life is as it should be.  The second is disorientation, where something breaks and life takes a turn that we did not expect. It could be the result of something we did, or something done to us. This is not what we signed up for, right? It is hard, and we need to grieve the loss we have experienced. McRoberts provides some excellent examples in his book, “It is what you make of it.”  The third stage is reorientation, where we realize that things will never be the same as they were at orientation, and it is not only an acceptance of this, but also a willingness to use what we have and grow from this point. Kind of like the phrase ‘When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.’ Easier said than done, right? Those who believe in a high power have the edge here, as not only does someone else help you man the lemonade booth, but they also have the recipe! So take stock of what you have. 

So how does this apply to those in conflict? How do you make Lemonade out of conflict? Can you see your conflict in the orientation, disorientation and reorientation model? Mediation results be the start of the reorientation process. It could be a compromise or giving up something to achieve peace; maybe it is the new start you need.